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<title>Vol. 23 - Kakeru Y. Kobayashi by kerotobi</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111998">Vol. 23 - Kakeru Y. Kobayashi</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerotobi/pseuds/kerotobi'>kerotobi</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dealing with loss of a loved one, Depression, Gen, References to Depression, this takes place further in kakeru's life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:47:50</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>449</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23111998</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kerotobi/pseuds/kerotobi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"I’m sorry for not having enough energy to live, Mother.<br/>“It’s alright, just give yourself a bit of time to get your balance back,” you would say. But you’re no longer here."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Vol. 23 - Kakeru Y. Kobayashi</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>a bit saddening, yea! but kakeru manages to recover in the time coming. i'll post more later about kakeru's story later on but so far here's this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span><em><strong>May 19, 20XX</strong></em>   </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been a week since my dearest mother passed away. I have cremated her, as was her wish in her will and buried her in a nearby place of which only she and I know about. Our space. The meadow where she first healed me and where we’ve spent so many of our cherished moments at. Without a care in the world about the impending possible danger of someone coming to take me away or coming to kill her. She spent many days showing me the outside I never knew about or was able to experience despite all of these issues possibly coming towards us for just </span>
  <em>
    <span>existing</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It’s been so quiet since her passing. I’ve spent the last week sleeping in her bed, not being able to sleep in my own room. Patients would come and drop off flowers or give their condolences to me, or for a quick checkup that doesn’t require me too much energy to do. There are times where the whole day would be spent in her bed; Even if the door rang or if somebody came to visit (that didn’t have a spare key), I wouldn’t get up to get it. I just wouldn’t have enough energy to be able to do anything. There was once where I sat in the kitchen and just cried. I couldn’t do anything. I feel like a baby deer walking on ice.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>My dearest friends, Shiki and Makai, have passed by at least once per day to check in on me and make sure I’m not skipping my meals or getting stuck in the bath. I’ve had that issue since I first came here 30+ years ago. I caught myself going a whole day not eating, where then Shiki brought some leftovers that he and his husband made that day. Makai has also come in with food as well, but he’s mostly been here for comfort and moments of silence. While Shiki does assist me in making sure I’m healthy, not passing out, and genuinely being a wonderful support, Makai really does help me get back on the feet I sometimes forget that I have. Dr. Riku is very certainly lucky to have a supporting husband to help him relax.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>I’m sorry for not having enough energy to live, Mother.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s alright, just give yourself a bit of time to get your balance back,” you would say. But you’re no longer here ..</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>[The words get cut off by blotches of water, blurring the last few words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There are some drawings of Meat and Rice curry at the bottom, as well as 5 glasses of water. They’re all under a small section named “Food History”.]</span>
</p>
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